maraming nagmamahal sa iyo . . .

had a meeting a while ago and we’ve discussed about the things that happened in my life for the past month . . .

it’s weird, after talking about it, i said i feel better than last month.  moreover, i shared my future plans and how i’m looking forward - hopeful that things will get better soon.

surprising i guess, was the fact that while i was sharing all these, i had been saying different names - people who’ve gotten in touch, maintained friendship . . . people who made sure that things turn out well and their assurances that they are always there for me . . .

then this person told me . . . “ang daming nagmamahal sa iyo, ‘no?”

i thought for a while . . . “oo nga, ano?” . . . these are the real friends one can ever have.  i never really thought about that . . . but once you realize, the feeling is nice . . .

so right now i’m just thinking, what have i done right that’s why people cared that much?  sometimes the reasons are not important but sometimes a person can really get curious of it . . . as for me, maybe i just wanted to know para alam ko na ‘yun ang dapat kong ipagpatuloy na gawin . . .

i’m thankful for people like them . . . sana maging ganoon din ako sa kanila . . .

but ok, fine . . . forgive me for this one . . . as much as alam kong maraming nagmamahal sa akin sa paligid ko . . . yeah, i still wish i could have nanay mai to still be in that special group of people i have . . . i miss her and i hope everything’s well with her . . .

–GI 30682

things i miss and don’t miss about abs-cbn . . .

it’s been more than a week now since my resignation from abs-cbn . . . just came back from my ilo-ilo vacation and honestly, i’m still enjoying it . . . i guess i badly needed this . . . a moment to relax and recharge before i start sailing again to my new journey . . .

so anyway, since i have a lot of time to spend right now . . . i figured the things i will miss and won’t miss in my dream company . . .

let’s start with the things i’m going to miss . . .

1. pagbigyan n’yo na ako dito . . . but i’m really gonna miss my nanay mai . . .
2. rba people who became close to me . . . you know, the people i really trusted . . . you guys know who you are *wink*
3. tv?  pero sana i could switch to the cable channels . . .
4. the kind receptionists . . .
5. the christmas party! lagi kasi akong nananalo ng isa sa mga major prizes . . . talk about my ipod and the wow magic sing na pinagpalit ko sa P5,000.  hahaha
6. conversations with vyt
7. fgds . . . just the fgds . . . nothing after . . .
8. the subcons baby n’yo akong lahat e

now, for the things i won’t miss . . .

1. the job . . . hahaha, sorry . . .
2. some people?  hahaha, bitter pa rin . . .
3. traffic at quezon avenue
4. long work hours
5. no internet
6. the food . . .
7. *censored* clue:  balikabayan, shoe, etc . . .

nonetheless, it was a great experience.  i was finally able to live my dream . . . but like what i’ve told them . . . maybe, it’s time to move on and find greater heights . . .

i’ll miss you rba peeps . . . and you’ll forever remain in my heart . . .
–GI 30682

late comment on the latest american idol

since i’ve been busy most of the time, i wasn’t able to comment on the american idol finale . . . that is, when the news was still fresh and relevant . . .

well, since i have a lot of time now after i’ve tendered my resignation, might as well give my thoughts on the newest american idol, kris allen . . .

first of all, i think he’s cute . . . he can sing but i don’t think he’s been consistent in the contest.  he’s got his own good nights and also had a couple of bad ones.

i think, adam has been more consistent . . . and i’ve been a fan of adam (also initially rooted for him) but i think, during the final week, i felt the need to swing my vote (as if, makakaboto ako, hahaha).

why?

well, i realized america seems not yet ready for an artist like adam . . . i find him creative, but i still am not sure of his sexuality.  he never confirmed it actually but i think it also became an issue.  is american idol ready for adam?  i think during the latter weeks, i got tired of him.  sure, he is interesting but . . . i realized he loves to shriek . . . too gay . . . *peace*

as for kris, he is a safer bet . . . glad he won but he’s just another pretty boy.  i don’t think he can be as remarkable as the successful american idols like kelly clarkson, carrie underwood, and david cook . . . give him just one album . . . then he’s like another ruben studdard, and taylor hicks . . . a has been.  i don’t know, i guess i have still yet to find what makes kris truly distinct from the others . . .

well, let’s see . . . maybe i’ll be surprised when his album comes out . . .

–GI 30682

truly irritated . . .

just want to voice out that i’m really annoyed with all the hype in the hayden kho video scandals.

it even had to be talked about for most of the airtime in news shows.  c’mon . . . even the senate would like to have a senate inquiry about it.

leave all these issues in the showbiz industry.  this issue should not be a case of public concern, i think.  ok, katrina halili is a “victim” in the sense that “she was not aware that a video is being taken” of that act . . . but the thing is, first and foremost, she should be aware that she is a public property (i.e., she is a showbiz personality) and things like these are no longer uncommon.  for me, before the doing the act, i believe she should have been prepared of the possible consequences . . . it takes two to tango . . . i believe she had a choice . . . she could have avoided it . . . if she really wanted to save her dignity.

another point . . . i believe that there are more important issues to be talked about and dealt with.  why focus on the hayden kho videos more but not about the fact that the a (h1n1) virus has already entered the country.  i believe the virus should be more of a public concern . . . it involves the lives, the health, the safety of filipinos . . . issues like these . . . eto ang dapat na pinag-uusapan, what measures should be done now that the virus is in the country?  how should we keep the filipinos informed about it? 

haaayyy . . . sometimes i think . . . are filipinos just really voyeurists in general?

–GI 30682

why “good friday”?

dahil nasa panahon ako ng sobrang pag-iisip this holy week . . . pati dahilan kung bakit “good friday” today ay pinroblema ko na rin . . . hehehehe

i just thought . . . why do we call it “good” when everything that happened to jesus was all bad and wrong?  he suffered and died - there was pain, abuse, and death . . . i don’t think there’s anything good about it . . . it was terribly bad . . .

wow . . . for 27 years ngayon ko lang tinanong sarili ko about it.  for 12 years i studied in a catholic school but i never even thought about it . . . sabagay, wala nang pasok ‘pag holy week . . .

in an attempt to find answers to my question, i tried surfing the net (grabe! thank god for quick information! goodbye collier’s encyclopedia and britannica, hehehe) . . .

well, from the internet i found out lots of reasons why it’s called “good friday” . . . let me share it with you . . .

1. the word “good” was used in the old english way . . . by that, “good” actually meant “holy” hence, “good friday” is really termed as “holy friday”

2. in germany, they call this day “karfreitag”.  i learned that “kar” may mean “care” and “woe”.  as such, “karfreitag” actually meant “friday of mourning”

3. they said that “good” also meant “god”.  sorry, pero ngayon ko lang din ito nalaman . . . “good-bye” actually meant “god be with you” . . . and using this as an example, “good friday” could actually mean “god’s friday”

4. lastly (and i believe this is the best meaning for “good friday”), this day can really be called such because this is the day when all of us recognize that the evils in this world led to the greatest good - the salvation of everyone. 

just sharing . . .
–GI 30682

signs of the coming national elections . . .

of course i know a lot of people have been noticing since last year the countless advertisements of politicians . . . their plans, their values, and what they are fighting for . . . an image that they care for the people . . . and that their intentions are real . . .

for these reasons, a lot of public figures shall immediately come to mind . . . manny villar, loren legarda, chiz escudero, mar roxas . . .

i really do not care if they want to run or not . . . it’s up to them . . . honestly, i’d rather just see them in action than hear them say what they have already accomplished . . .

well, aside from the ads . . . notice anything lately in metro manila?  believe me, it’s one of the biggest signs of the coming elections . . .

siret na?

roadworks! countless roadworks all over manila!

grabe, katakot-takot na traffic ang nangyayari ngayon, ha.  dito lang sa fairview ang dami na . . . pati sa edsa . . .  grabe, for the entire week, wala yata akong appointment na nakarating ako on time . . .

eh ganoon e . . . pinakamalaking kickback talaga is public works . . . so if you’re planning to run for the upcoming elections, you need to prepare tons of money . . . saan ka pa makakaipon agad kung hindi magpagawa ng sangkatutak na daan at overpass . . .

oh well, as if there’s anything i can do about it . . .

–GI 30682

i don’t know why . . .

was looking forward for my birthday, actually . . . with hopes that it shall be a new start . . . a clean slate . . . a day to really be happy . . .

pero hindi e . . .

i really do not know what went wrong during that day.  you know, if celebrating your birthday was a day that you’ll feel special and loved . . . then it was a day i felt i was not . . . and it’s quite depressing . . .

as much as i want to look forward to a new beginning . . . i’m quite fearful . . . the day, my birthday didn’t go the way i wanted it and i wish it won’t be like that for the rest of my 27th year . . .

honestly, kasi kung painful experiences ang mangyayari for this year, ‘di ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko . . . my 26th year had been so painful . . . the open wound hasn’t closed yet, kasi everyday as much as you’re trying to close it, nasusugat siya ulit . . . and mas masakit ‘yun, ‘di ba?

oh well . . . sana matapos na . . . sana maging masaya na ako . . . god knows what will make me happy . . . i wish i’d still continue having faith na mangyayari pa rin ‘yun . . .

–GI 30682

looking back . . .

recently gotten in touch with people i shared life with for almost 12 years . . . my grade school and high school, school of the holy spirit, qc.

it was great, never realized it’s been 10 years since i graduated from high school and it was the first time i visited after i left the school as a crippled girl (hehe, pilay ako nun e!). 

it was great to see old faces . . . and i felt proud when they saw me . . . more mature than how i was as a school girl . . . with a slight improved confidence than before . . . it was comforting to hear them say they were proud of what i’ve become . . .

i’m just so happy to finally get in touch with them, especially my teachers . . . with all the things i’m battling right now . . . they seem to know where my thoughts are coming from . . . i once again felt like that adolescent girl who needed the guidance of guardians . . . people she can trust to lead the way for her . . . it just felt good and reassuring as they once again encouraged me that i’d be able to get there . . . to the place where i wanted to go . . . and i know they’d be there to support and motivate me to continue and just go on . . .

it’s just now that i’m totally appreciating the things they taught me . . . beyond the things i can learn from the textbooks . . . and i realized maybe it’s about time that i repay the school - for teaching and molding me to become who i am . . . and for still accepting me - no matter how broken i may be right now.

and yes, from now on i keep a pledge . . . i’d do my best to help the school - in any way i can . . .

i know i started the quest already - i accepted their offer to be a judge for the comm arts week . . . and i know that won’t be the last time because my other teachers have already told me their interest and intention to invite me in other projects in the future . . .

thanks SHS . . . i’ll forever be proud to be an SHSian . . .
 

–GI 30682

just too painful . . .

the whole week had been too stressful and too painful . . .

‘di ko na alam . . . basta all i can say is . . . i’m too hurting . . .

everything happened too soon . . .

and i have a lot of questions that needs to be answered . . .

wala lang . . .

*sigh*

–GI 30682

a terrifying experience

i forgot to share what happened early this week . . .

i was on my way to work . . . determined to accomplish lots during that day that’s why i drove to the office quite early . . .

oh well, it didn’t happen . . . came in just on time . . .

what happened?

well, i had car trouble . . . a very terrifying car trouble experience

my car stalled near the u-turn slot.  then, i was trying to start the engine again . . . but no luck . . .

felt the exasperated drivers behind me . . . so i attempted the second time . . .

god . . . you should have seen the expression of my face after what happened that time . . .

the engine started to smoke and the next thing i knew . . . the smoke was already entering the car . . .

didn’t know what to do . . . people found it funny when i told them that the first thing that entered my mind was the knowledge of a lot of news footages of cars burning on the road . . . all the more . . . nissan sentras . . .

e ganoon kotse ko e!

with that thought, the first thing i thought of doing?  i jumped out of the car . . .

give it a couple of seconds . . . i went back . . .

not because the smoke was gone . . . it was getting worse but i thought if i need to ask help from others . . . i need my mobile phones . . . hehehe

so i did . . . and then i thought of my laptop and my wallet . . .

think . . . think . . . think . . .

nah, made the decision that once i see more smoke coming out, that’s when i’d attempt to get my wallet and laptop . . . pangit naman kasing mukha akong backpacker sa gitna ng quezon avenue, ‘di ba?

oh well, i was able to ask help from people at the office . . . truly felt the “sagip kapamilya” spirit . . . wow! it’s really good to be a kapamilya . . .
they towed my car to the office then, we asked for mechanics to check it.  went upstairs and told people of the horrifying experience i had.  well, also called home to inform them of what happened . . .

oh well, my brother visited to check the car . . . the mechanics told me what the problem was . . . went to change those engine parts and told me it was safe to take it home . . .

home?  me?  drive it again?  no way!

hahaha

but i was forced to . . . paano ako uuwi?  i was motivated by the people at work . . . “ma’am, isipin mo na lang ‘yung pinoy fear factor . . . face your fears, ma’am!”

ayos, ‘di ba?  oh well, it was the longest drive home to fairview ever . . . i was so conscious for smoke . . . and told myself that i’d jump out again as soon as i see smoke . . .

well, i tried to use my car again but . . . i guess i was traumatized with what happened . . . the slightest noise i heard when i started the engine at home quickly made me jump outside yet again.  told my dad about it . . . my brother checked it and said everything was normal . . .

ok . . . the best proof i was really traumatized . . . hehehe . . .

oh well, given a chance i still would not choose to drive my sentra again . . . the starex is available naman e . . .

although . . . i think i’ll be forced again on monday to use the sentra . . . coding ang starex e . . .

haaaayyyy . . . i pray for courage . . .

hehe
–GI 30682