just too painful . . .
the whole week had been too stressful and too painful . . .
‘di ko na alam . . . basta all i can say is . . . i’m too hurting . . .
everything happened too soon . . .
and i have a lot of questions that needs to be answered . . .
wala lang . . .
*sigh*
–GI 30682
Uncategorized | Comment (0)a terrifying experience
i forgot to share what happened early this week . . .
i was on my way to work . . . determined to accomplish lots during that day that’s why i drove to the office quite early . . .
oh well, it didn’t happen . . . came in just on time . . .
what happened?
well, i had car trouble . . . a very terrifying car trouble experience
my car stalled near the u-turn slot. then, i was trying to start the engine again . . . but no luck . . .
felt the exasperated drivers behind me . . . so i attempted the second time . . .
god . . . you should have seen the expression of my face after what happened that time . . .
the engine started to smoke and the next thing i knew . . . the smoke was already entering the car . . .
didn’t know what to do . . . people found it funny when i told them that the first thing that entered my mind was the knowledge of a lot of news footages of cars burning on the road . . . all the more . . . nissan sentras . . .
e ganoon kotse ko e!
with that thought, the first thing i thought of doing? i jumped out of the car . . .
give it a couple of seconds . . . i went back . . .
not because the smoke was gone . . . it was getting worse but i thought if i need to ask help from others . . . i need my mobile phones . . . hehehe
so i did . . . and then i thought of my laptop and my wallet . . .
think . . . think . . . think . . .
nah, made the decision that once i see more smoke coming out, that’s when i’d attempt to get my wallet and laptop . . . pangit naman kasing mukha akong backpacker sa gitna ng quezon avenue, ‘di ba?
oh well, i was able to ask help from people at the office . . . truly felt the “sagip kapamilya” spirit . . . wow! it’s really good to be a kapamilya . . . 
they towed my car to the office then, we asked for mechanics to check it. went upstairs and told people of the horrifying experience i had. well, also called home to inform them of what happened . . .
oh well, my brother visited to check the car . . . the mechanics told me what the problem was . . . went to change those engine parts and told me it was safe to take it home . . .
home? me? drive it again? no way!
hahaha
but i was forced to . . . paano ako uuwi? i was motivated by the people at work . . . “ma’am, isipin mo na lang ‘yung pinoy fear factor . . . face your fears, ma’am!”
ayos, ‘di ba? oh well, it was the longest drive home to fairview ever . . . i was so conscious for smoke . . . and told myself that i’d jump out again as soon as i see smoke . . .
well, i tried to use my car again but . . . i guess i was traumatized with what happened . . . the slightest noise i heard when i started the engine at home quickly made me jump outside yet again. told my dad about it . . . my brother checked it and said everything was normal . . .
ok . . . the best proof i was really traumatized . . . hehehe . . .
oh well, given a chance i still would not choose to drive my sentra again . . . the starex is available naman e . . .
although . . . i think i’ll be forced again on monday to use the sentra . . . coding ang starex e . . .
haaaayyyy . . . i pray for courage . . .
hehe
–GI 30682
the week so far . . .
wow! i just can’t believe it . . .
just a week has passed this year . . . but lots of work are already piled up . . . couldn’t believe it . . . i’m tired this week . . .
thought i was able to gather all energy during the two-week break but i guess it wasn’t enough . . .
oh well, add the stress i’m getting . . . from . . . someone . . . *sigh*
i almost did a decision i feel i’m gonna regret had i done it. i was so frustrated that moment and felt it was the best thing to do . . .
but well, i guess god loves me and he really cares . . . ‘di ko nakausap ‘yung dapat kong kausapin kaya ‘di ko nagawa ‘yung decision ko . . .
the situation continues . . . erratic moments . . . oh well . . . basta, i’m finding comfort . . . in well . . . a gray creature . . . hehehehe
kim! great help sa pag-alis na stress ko . . . hahahaha
don’t get me wrong, guys . . . believe it or not . . . i’m still hoping things could get better or at least how it was before . . .
–GI 30682
thoughts | Comment (0)saying thank you and goodbye to 2008 . . .
so it’s the new year and as what most people would do, they go reflecting - what happened on the year that was . . .
i tried thinking of what happened last 2007 and realized it started wrong but ended right . . .
it was the opposite for 2008 . . . my 2008 was a blast but i didn’t expect this happiness will not last for long . . .
a lot of things went wrong . . . and as much as i wanted to bring it back . . . it seems more and more difficult . . . it’s like being in quick sand . . . the more you struggle to get out . . . the more you realize you’re sinking . . .
ganoon nga siguro talaga, ano? gulong ng palad . . . like how they describe it . . . sometimes you’re on top . . . then you’re back down again . . .
it’s difficult right now . . . and like my recent blogs . . . a lot of important decisions have to be made . . . a lot of healing to be done . . . and a persistent hope still lingers . . .
as much as i want to forget 2008 for how it ended . . . i just can’t . . . because we shouldn’t . . . it shall serve as a memory . . . a reminder i guess of what must be and how it should be done. another thing . . . isa pa rin siyang magandang alaala . . .
emotionally, i’m not fully well . . . feeling comatose pa rin ‘yung status e . . . but then, who knows . . . i want to hope that eventually i’ll be out of that life-support machine and be able to make it on my own . . .
i want to hope for 2009 . . . i want to believe that things will get well in 2009 . . . i pray it will happen . . .
and before i say goodbye to 2008 . . . i have lots of people to thank . . . for helping me bear it all especially when it truly became tough and unbearable . . .
blessie - mare! ikaw ang unang dumamay. thanks for making me remember the “gi” you guys knew
ms. cacho - you’ll always be one “nanay” for me. thanks for those encouraging words and for pushing me to believe in myself . . . thank you for not giving up on this person who never trusted herself
ms. e - i’ll forever be thankful i was able to gather the strength to finally let all the pain and fear out. thank you for encouraging me to speak up and tell my side. thank you for believing in me . . . thank you for finding the good person in me. thanks for the support when i desperately needed it . . . thanks for the shoulder you gave when all i want to do is cry . . .
ms. vi - i’ll forever be grateful for the time you gave to listen to one confused person. we’re blessed to have you as a boss - despite your busy schedule, you can find time to sit, listen, and give a sound advice. you have a way with words . . . i know i have lots of hang-ups to face and i know you’re aware of it as well but you never accused me of those . . . you gave light to the road i must travel . . . you encouraged me to start taking those few steps . . . you gave a good advice for me to re-think and re-evaluate my decision.
rina - thanks for that heart-to-heart talk in cebu. at least it was through you that i saw the other side of the coin . . . hindi lang pala ako ang may problema . . .
kuya neil - affirmation in the way we least expected it, huh? thanks for that conversation before you left for the states.
zia - kakaibang affirmation din ito. among the cebu trips i’ve had, the one with you is the most memorable. nakalimutan ko ang problema ko with you . . . it felt good to realize hindi ako praning . . . na ‘yung naramdaman ko, insecurities ko, and other things . . . you had them as well . . . kakayanin natin itong decisions na gagawin natin . . .
kuya greg - aside from ms. e’s and ms. vi’s advices, you gave me another good advice before we started the christmas break and i thank you for that. matagal ko na rin kasing kinalimutang gawin ‘yun e. nag-enjoy nga ata ako sa paggawa ng advice mo i almost forgot i have more important things to do . . .
my best buds mel and ysn - thank you for completely accepting me for who i am . . . i am truly my own self with you guys and i know it will remain that way until the rest of our lives . . . tulad ng huli nating reunion, it’s about time we start working on our plans . . . you guys helped me have a goal again . . . love you both!
tita letty (kenny’s tita) - thank you for listening as well . . . thank you for that advice . . . it helped such that i’m still holding on things will get well . . . babawi ako sa iyo.
orpha - i miss you, nabawasan ako ng ate na tatakbuhan ‘pag may problema ako. i miss your patience . . . sana namana ko ‘yun sa iyo . . . thanks na kahit malayo ka na, you still encourage me that i’ll do fine . . . i truly appreciate that . . .
gayle, anj, heidi - thanks for doing to your best to protect me especially when things went out of hand . . . you guys made me realize na normal pa rin akong tao . . . na pareho tayo ng napapansin at nakikita sa totoong nangyayari . . .
roxanne - thanks . . . we may not see each other frequently but you seem to know when i need you the most. i’ll always appreciate your efforts to stand up for me . . . your willingness to fight my battles - for considering my enemies as yours as well . . . thanks for the advice . . . you’re a friend worth keeping
mary and kim - thanks for the fun moments . . . the laughtrip moments . . . for making me forget my problems . . . you’re great friends i can always count on
raine - i’m glad things eventually went well for us. i’m glad i was able to keep my promise . . . na pupuntahan din kita sa ilo-ilo . . . thanks for that wondeful conversation sa smallville . . . i wished i had more time to spend there . . . i miss our long conversations . . .
ms. mai - kahit ‘di mo ito nababasa dahil ‘di naman tayo connected in anyway sa net . . . i’m sorry . . . and i know you know what i’m gonna say next . . .
–GI 30682
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