it’s good to be home!

you know what they usually say?  "there’s no place like home . . ." well, didn’t care about it that much back then . . . i mean, i’d rather say there’s no place like the philippines as i’d rather live in the country than abroad . . . but not FAR-view . . . hehehe

so anyway, when my brother and i were forced to live away from home since there were roadworks just outside our house . . . i first thought . . . "wow! first taste of freedom!" and to tell you honestly . . . i enjoyed it . . .

being the youngest in the family is still quite hard . . . i think until now, my parents forget that i’m no longer as young as they used to think i am . . . but, i guess that’s how it is . . . bunso ako e . . . and it will forever be . . .

so there i was . . . enjoying my first taste of freedom . . . met with some friends . . . went jogging before going to work . . . just basically found more time to do what i really wanted to do . . .

you know, back then . . . i’d always kid around and tell i’m from "far"-view . . . but i never realized how far it really was . . . i was used to it . . . but when i lived inside my uncle’s place . . . wow! imagine . . . 10 minutes to get to work . . . tipid sa gas! and since i’d pick my parents up during weekends so we can go to mass together, and of course my frequent visits at home to get clothes and bring laundry stuff . . . honestly, it was only then that i realized na nakakapagod pala talaga ‘yung binabyahe ko araw-araw . . .

it was fun to be away from home . . . it’s an adventure of some sort . . . but it also hit me . . . i came to the point that i felt something was missing . . .

i was missing the comfort of my home . . . the comfort of my bed . . .

it was just recently that the road has been finished and so i went home with much delight . . . i had recently gotten sick . . . well, work and emotional stress combined . . . and it’s good to be back in the comfort of your room . . . and though i felt more tired when i went back home (ganoon naman, ‘di ba?  hindi mo nararamdaman ang lahat ng pagod until you go home), i knew i’d be getting well soon . . .

for 3 weeks i was away from home . . . a lot of things have happened . . . some good, some bad . . . others totally draining and ego-shattering which i believe led to my having gotten sick recently . . .

i’m still emotionally drained . . . but i still choose to believe . . . although i’m expecting more stressful days ahead . . . i’m looking forward for something good to happen . . . sana . . . i pray . . . and please help me in doing that . . .

i honestly don’t know how i should describe myself right now . . . i can’t say i’m totally happy . . . but i’m not totally sad either . . . gripping?  parang hindi rin e . . . emotionally drained?  sobra . . . confused?  you bet . . . but as i’ve said . . . i’m choosing to believe . . . that is, that although i can’t figure what is, i’m holding on to the belief that it is for something proper, right, and positive . . . i’m choosing to trust . . . i’m choosing to obey . . . i’m choosing to follow . . .

‘yun na ‘yun . . .

but i’m still human, and sometimes i catch myself lost . . . wondering if i still should or not . . . pero, isa lang ang pumasok sa isip ko . . . paninindigan ko ‘yung palagi kong sinasabi . . . i’m choosing to trust . . . no matter how confusing . . . no matter how clueless i am right now . . . no matter how bruised i got as a result of it . . . susunod pa rin ako . . . dahil nagtitiwala ako . . .

and since i’m emotionally burned-out, there’s one relief i’d been saying for the past 2 days . . .

yes, it is . . .

it’s so good to be home . . .

–GI 30682

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