thoughts from a confused lovergirl
you know one of the favorite things i do? i talk to my closest guy friends and get their opinion regarding a guy’s point of view on something . . . more of . . . trying to get what a guy would usually react for something a girl like me did . . .
so, here goes . . .
i was sharing a certain situation which happened recently to a guy friend and when i was already uttering something funny or confusing like "’di ko kasi alam kung ano’ng result ng sinabi ko,") there goes another guy friend (who by the way, has this image of being able to turn any innocent statement into a green light) upon hearing what i’ve said then suddenly makes a remark that went "naku! patay ka d’yan, gi!" suddenly the whole hall erupted with laughter . . . hahaha . . . then suddenly, i’m called "lovergirl" . . .
the thing is . . . everyone knows what my priority is right now . . . career. for quite some time now, i think i’m doing well . . . very much happy also to be slowly realizing where you shall be happy . . . as everyone around you shows their support. then of course, i balance this off with my family . . . with my sister having migrated to the states, i felt the responsibility of spending more time with my parents - driving them to places . . . basically, doing service for them (well, i love to drive anyway).
i have been doing well with this balancing thingy, i think . . . i’m back to my dedicated inspired self when it comes to work although, it’s inevitable at times as i have once in a while disagreements with my parents but i always get to mend it naman in time - of course, with the help of good advices from good people around me. 
and so, i’d like to reiterate . . . i’m happy . . . and very much satisfied juggling between career and family . . . so here goes my worry . . .
when you think everything is going well in your life right now, how willing shall you be to add another aspect? would you be brave enough to take risks to divide your life with another thing, say lovelife, knowing it has always gotten in the way with regard to your career?
i’ve always told people twice is enough . . . but what if you’ve reached a realization that things have turned out differently, when suddenly you have felt a maturity from the person - when you’ve realized that all your concerns before suddenly became the priority you’ve long wanted the person to work on? would you be willing to give it a try - the third time?
consider it a crossroad for me . . . i admit my feelings remained . . . but entering the relationship again is something i’m still not fully decided on . . . one thing’s for sure, though . . . career shall still remain my top priority . . . i’ve worked hard on this, dreamt of this . . . and now that i’m here - i don’t think i’d be willing to give it up that soon . . .
haayyy . . . as i always say . . . pampagulo talaga ng buhay ang lovelife . . . *sigh*
–GI 30682
thoughts | Comment (0)american idol is back!
wow! just last week, season 7 of american idol has started . . . and as early as now, i’m hooked . . . not minding the deadlines and the lack of sleep, i still watch until the middle of the night just to catch on cable this show. (err, aside from the fact na medyo late ako nakakauwi ng house, i forbid myself to watch american idol sa local channel . . . personal choice, actually . . . and a lot would know why . . . haha)
so anyway, it’s still early to make a prediction but i’ve already found cute guys hahaha . . . some with talent, and some without. the cowboy guy from the texas audition . . . shucks! crush ko siya . . . hahaha . . . and i feel pathetic for the cute guy who’s never kissed a girl yet . . . (paharapin ‘yan sa akin! hahaha! joke!)
of course, the fun part in the audition stage are those people who think they’re worthy and haven’t realize they really can not carry a tune. memorable was that female rocker who i think has already uttered every bad word she knew towards simon . . . how about this geek who totally pissed the three judges as he did his practice inside the audition room . . . kapal pa naman kasi ng mukha, bon jovi pa kasi ‘yung gustong kantahin!
the thing is . . . i totally understand some people who have the desire to be in front of the television to try their luck and have at least a few minutes of fame, right? pero naman! if you know you haven’t had any experience in singing, moreso, if you know no one has praised you for your singing yet (exception ang family members, ha), then might as well choose safe songs and not those that need vocal range, ‘di ba?
but then again, i will not forget those two people who had their own created songs. i forgot this old guy who just wanted his song to be heard . . . laughtrip. pero, wala ng tatalo kay renaldo lapuz (pustahan tayo, filipino ‘yan) and his own composition "you are my brother" hahaha . . . his eccentric costume was enough to cause laughter . . . and add more hilarity as randy and paula went to the front (with randy singing with him) and paula dancing (plus making sign language) . . . hahaha . . . then look at the disbelief (or should i say, horror? in the face of simon). you know, i think simon is right when he said "i’ll bet this song will make it in records" when that happens, sikat na naman ang pinoy! we have our own william hung na! hahaha
then again, i felt for paula . . . ‘yung creepy guy na may major crush sa kanya . . . believe me, i know how it feels ‘pag may maniac sa tabi-tabi . . . katakot ‘yun ha . . .
so, expect that i’ll be seeing american idol (doing my best to do so) as this for me is one of the best reality shows on tv . . .
pinoy idol will come soon na rin, if i’m not mistaken . . . and though i’ve watched last year’s episode . . . i’m not sure if i will this year . . . conflict of interest lang kasi . . . hahahaha . . . pinoy dream academy na lang ako! woohoo!
–GI 30682
Television | Comment (0)ranting
not that i’m in a bad mood, ha . . . in fact i’m quite happy today . . . it’s up’s centennial today! hooray hooray!
but then, as the title suggests . . . there’s something i’m ranting about . . .
for those people who are motorcycle freaks . . . forgive me, but i’m just not fond of them . . . i hate seeing them on the road.
my apologies . . . i’m a driver . . . i love driving . . . and my friends know i’m one patient driver. but really, something gets on my nerves sometimes . . . motorcycles! darn it!
don’t you just hate it when you’re cruising along the streets of manila, enjoying a moment (well, the one in a million moments) when there’s no traffic then suddenly something swerves in front of you suddenly changing your peaceful mood into an irritated one.
or how about a moment, when you’re doing your best to fall in line during rush hour traffic and at the moment the cars move at a snail’s pace, something cuts you off making you step on the brakes all of a sudden . . .
and so people, i think i have a reason to not like motorcycles at all. i understand that with the tough times now, it’s a practical choice to use motorcycles because they’re a lot cheaper and spends on gas less but my point here is . . . they cause more traffic sometimes and sometimes they cause the traffic because of the many accidents they initiate.
sometimes i wonder if there’s a daredevil inside the heart of every motorcycle driver . . . how they bravely weave through the busiest streets of edsa and commonwealth, sometimes without helmet. How they’d carry 2 to 3 passengers, some of them kids. How they’d do their best to enter even the smallest space on the road when there’s traffic despite the threat of getting hit by buses.
and speaking of buses . . . i just hate it when they use their sizes to bully the cars on the road. of course as private owners of cars, we’ll do our best to take care of our vehicles that sometimes, despite knowing we have the right of way, these bus drivers tend to bully us on the road . . . of course we don’t want our cars to get damaged! Ang mahal magpagawa ng sasakyan. you know one thing i hate all the more? they’re the ones who are at fault yet once they hit you, they’ll have the most angelic faces you could see on earth . . . and for us to not allow it to pass, we’d look like people who do not understand the people who are less fortunate than us and are just doing their best to provide for their families . . . kami pa ngayon ang lalabas na ‘di makatarungan n’yan! darn it . . .
well, i know the main sentiment i have here is that most people do not practice discipline . . . i know if every motor driver is disciplined, there shall be no traffic . . . the roads shall be peaceful and of course, there’ll be less accidents on the road . . . e ‘di masaya tayong lahat, ‘di ba?
but then again . . . when will that happen? so . . . as long as these drivers do not become disciplined . . . i’ll just say i hate vehicles with less or more than four wheels . . . ‘yun na ‘yun . . . hahaha
–GI 30682
thoughts | Comment (1)the difficulty of saying “i love you”
just a thought . . .
everyone knows how i am as a friend . . . dedicated, loyal, and affectionate . . .
but then . . .
how am i as a daughter? hmmm . . . my closest friends would know . . .
well, not that i’m a bad kid but i guess i’m less showy with regard to expressing my love for them. i don’t know . . . it’s been a long time since i last said "i love you" to them . . . but that doesn’t mean i love them less, ok?
you know, my parents would once in a while make that "parinig" of how much they miss the "little gi" . . . affectionate and sweet . . . pero of course, you know me . . . i’d rather be not affected with those statements . . . well, yes . . . it hits the mark . . . but i chose to look tough . . . typical gi andres . . . hehe
i don’t know why it’s difficult to utter those words . . . maybe there’s that "hiya" factor that people had been suggesting . . . "hiya" coming from shame of being aware you had done lots of mistakes for the longest time . . . maybe "hiya" out of fear of getting rejected . . . "hiya" because it is something you are not used to doing for the longest time . . .
regardless of the reasons . . . i know saying those words are not the only way of expressing your love to your parents . . . and maybe it is in those other ways that i prefer doing . . . i’d rather be silent and just surprise them with simple unexpected gestures . . . then again, it’s the typical gi andres style . . . 
wala lang . . . just thinking aloud, i guess . . .
–GI 30682
thoughts | Comment (0)looking back on the year that was
happy new year, guys!
here’s wishing everyone a new year filled with blessings, luck, and good health . . .
ok . . . well, as the title suggests . . . it’s the new year . . . and sometimes it’s better that before you start on something, you look back and recall the past . . . at least to learn from it, right?
for the avid readers of this blog, you must have been very much aware of how i struggled all throughout 2007. it started out wrong . . . my birthday was the worst as i had car trouble and i had to spend 50k in just a snap (shit, ‘di ba?). i had been looking forward during that birthday of mine because i was to turn 25 that time and i consider it a milestone . . . but no! i shouldn’t have looked forward . . . siguro now, the car trouble i had, maybe it’s god’s way of welcoming me to a certain phase in life. ‘yung tipong siguro sinasabi ni god sa akin na "congratulations, gi! 25 ka na! eto gift ko sa iyo . . . quarter-life crisis!" hahaha . . . don’t get me wrong, please . . . ‘di na ako bitter. i’m happy, actually . . . because i’m satisfied right now . . . i’m delighted where i am right now.
so, going back . . . the misfortunes continued . . . office trouble i had halfway during the year . . . ang hirap e . . . because everything i valued at work was lost . . . ‘yung tipong lahat ng akala mo na importanteng tao ka sa kanila . . . sila pa ‘yung mang-iiwan sa iyo. i had always been a trusting person . . . and it was the first time i got scared of it . . . scared to trust too much . . . knowing it can be used against you. i struggled after as i didn’t want to trust everyone . . . i treated most with the thought that they are like the people from my past . . . iiwanan din ako ng mga ‘to . . . i never gave them the chance . . . oh well, i think i made a good decision that time to not trust much . . . although i failed, perhaps . . . i wouldn’t consider it as a loss . . . siguro ito na ‘yung masasabi mong blessing in disguise . . . just like what i said in my previous blogs . . . maybe it really had to happen because god had something better for me . . . and i’m really enjoying it . . . i feel worthy . . . i feel important . . . i feel that i belong and part of a great group of intelligent people . . . they’re the ones who made me believe that there’s nothing wrong with giving your fullest trust to people . . . because there are still lots who would value it . . . katulad nila . . . i know they value my friendship . . . my dedication . . . my trust that we’re gonna bring out the best in each and everyone of us in the group . . . awwww, drama ko . . . in short, mahal ko silang lahat . . .
looking back, it was a year with lots of changes . . . lots of challenges as well . . . siguro . . . like tags in websites, if you’re gonna check out my life for the year 2007, ito ‘yung mga tags ko: conflict, work, trust, career, car trouble, traitors, america, family, giving up, holding on, moving on, tagaytay, cebu, hope, inspiration, support, success, and dream fulfilled.
i remember last year, when i made my new year’s blog, i posted my fortune for the year . . . it went: "Life is full of disputes and changes yet; many problems will be solved with the help of friendly people. Have perseverance to overcome difficulties to achieve profitable goals. Have a chance to find your true love though you may have lost it at the very beginning." I recall being quite pessimistic as i shared my fortune for the year but i also remember choosing to hang on to it . . . with the hope that like what the fortune said, the right attitude will lead me to overcome it and push me further towards happiness and success. wow! glad i made that choice . . . nangyari, ‘di ba?
honestly, 75% of the past year was very turbulent for me. only a quarter was worth celebrating and worth recalling . . . but you know what? the best part i guess is the fact that these happy moments happened towards the end of the year . . . just like in a story . . . at least happy ending, ‘di ba?
someone asked me if i’d be willing to re-live the whole 2007 again . . . with the same struggles and all that . . . and that i’d be assured that it’s still gonna end well . . . i mean, it’s gonna end the way it ended for me . . . happy . . . well, i thought for a moment and gave my answer . . . i said no . . . why, despite the assurance that everything’s gonna turn out well? hmm, i guess i’m still not over the trauma i had . . . what happened last year still hurts . . . i am still at that point of trying to forget the whole thing . . . you know it’s not easy to forget a painful experience at once. i’m trying, though . . .
i guess that’s the reason why i loved the tagaytay experience . . . it was instrumental in making me find my senses again . . . at least it helped me see life in a bright light again . . . and the comfort upon realizing that everyone around you is there to provide support for each and everyone in the group. i guess that’s also the reason why i have much respect for my mommy mai . . . sa dinami-dami ba naman ng heart-to-heart moments namin, the advices she gave, ang pag-aalaga, but above all, how she would always listen to my thoughts . . . i appreciate all that . . . sometimes i wish i could return the favor in time . . . i know of a way how . . . i just wish i’d be able to get it done . . . whapak! hahaha
enough with the drama of the past . . . hahaha . . . i’m starting the year with a positive outlook . . . i want to believe this year’s gonna turn out well for me . . . i’m still looking forward for a much better birthday this year (wala namang 26th year crisis, ‘di ba? hahahaha). most of all, i know i’d be able to get through with this year basta kasama ko pa rin ang buong tropa . . . the support, the friendship, the bonding . . . in good times and in bad . . . love you, guys . . . you know who you are . . .
p. s. i found out that my fortune for this year is that i’m gonna be sickly . . . shit, ‘di ba? well, kung tipong flu or something like that, carry pa . . . basta ‘wag lang grabeng sakit . . . ‘yung tipong nakakamatay . . . hahaha. on second thought, i’ve always believed naman na i’m gonna have a short life lang e (morbid na naman ba? c’mon guys, you know my thoughts about death . . .) but really, siguro ‘wag lang talaga ‘yung grabeng sakit . . . not because i am afraid of dying but because should that happen (matinding sakit, that is), alam ko na ang sasabihin sa akin ng mga tao lalo na ni mommy mai . . . something like: "anak, sinabi ko naman kasi sa iyong kumain ka . . ." hahaha . . . *peace tayo, mommy!*
oh well . . . i’m happy . . . and i know it shows . . . sana buong taon, happy tayong lahat
–GI 30682
thoughts | Comment (0)