ano’ng diskarte mo?

met up with a friend a couple of days ago and we had a conversation about our plans for the future . . . what is our measure for our own successes.

some people would tend to say some people were just born lucky . . . that they’re destined to be successful while some were just destined to be miserable.  hmm . . . i don’t think so . . . i think god is a great god and he created us all with an equal chance of becoming successful in life.

i came accross with a certain "theory" . . . a theory that suggests we attract energy and this energy narrates what happens to us.  to make it clearer, it suggests that if we think bad thoughts, we attract bad energy thus, all miserable stuff happens to us.  on the other hand, if we always think good thoughts, surely, it will come our way.

i don’t know if we can say it as a credible theory . . . i’ve got instances that have happened to me, that the more i think of negative thoughts, the more misery happens to me . . . and the more i see life in a bright light, the more i feel blessed. 

then again, maybe it’s just pure coincidence . . .

well, regardless if such theory is true or not, i’d rather suggest that maybe, the more we think of happy thoughts, the more we unconsciously set our minds of the possibility that we can do it.  having done so, we unconsciously get inspired and determined to fulfill it.  and that leads to our success or happiness or whatever it is we were wishing for.

cutting it short . . . the greater we believe of being able to do one thing, the greater is the chance of us being able to achieve it . . . because perhaps, uncocnsciously, we were able to trigger something to our brain and heart to get inspired to meet that goal.  the more we set our heart to it, the greater the chance for us to not give up easily.

maybe, it’s easier to explain it the other way around.  the more we believe of not being able to do something, the quicker we give up on it . . .

got my point, now?

and so, i think success is a mind game.  as long as we believe that we can be successful . . . then we will be.

so, paano?  ano’ng diskarte mo?

–GI 30682

blessings

i’m happy . . . and i’d love to say, i’m being blessed right now

you know, i guess i’m really focusing on the bright side of things now and lately, i’ve been finding many reasons to be thankful for.

you know what they say, when god closes a door, he opens a window?  or how about "you get some, you lose some."  maybe, that’s it . . . i may have disconnected from some, but it’s not really a big loss.  i have gained more . . . more friends, more people that i find worthy of the kind of friendship i can give.  i gave up a couple of pennies . . . but ended up getting quarters.  :p

not just that . . . i’m enjoying my new job.  many deadlines to meet, but it’s not such a big deal for i’m able to meet them way ahead.  i’m considering it to be an adjustment period and i enjoy every new thing i’m learning right now.  i’m flattered with the trust my bosses are giving me . . . the opportunities they’re giving me . . . the duties they’re assigning to me.  i do hope to meet them or even exceed their expectations.  i’m slowly developing plans as to how i’d carry out my other assignments and how i’d be able to further improve it . . . my being the managing editor and it’s great.  for the longest time i haven’t been given the chance to be creative and now’s the time i’m being able to do so.  the mind that up has given me is now being enjoyed by my new work.  hehe

there are even many other stuff that i’d consider as blessings . . . and i thank god for it.  siguro, mahal nga talaga ako ng d’yos, ano?  to think i gave up something but got 5x more of what i gave up.  now, that ain’t a bad deal

–GI 30682

moving on

what does one do after disconnecting?  you move on . . .

well, that’s what i did . . . and i’m happy with it.  it’s like taking away a thorn that’s been hurting you for the longest time . . . it felt good . . .

well right now, since i’ve disconnected myself from some . . . i guess, i’d let it remain that way for the time being.  well, who knows?  no one can predict the future.  anything can still happen . . . the wound may be healed in time . . . when?  how long?  sorry . . . that i can’t determine . . . but definitely not in the near future.  it’s been more than a month since everything has happened and to tell you honestly, i’m still hurting with that . . . i no longer want to remember it . . . it pisses me off as well.  haha

to tell you honestly, it has really affected me.  i’ve lost giving the fullest trust to people as i always do.  right now, i’m always being held back with my feelings . . . no matter how comfortable i feel right away, i can’t help but doubt the trustworthiness of such.  i’m still afraid to trust fully . . . and i hope in the near future, i can again go back to not having doubts to people credible enough for the kind of trust i can give.

well, anyway, i’ve started on my new job and it’s really great.  well, there’s more work actually and i’m often harassed with deadlines but i love the trust of the people i’m working for . . . how they find my competence.  i hope i get to meet or even exceed their expectations for i am determined to do so.  i’m happy and i like what i’m doing.

at least my toxic workload diverts my mind from remembering my dreadful life during may . . . haha . . .

–GI 30682

hanging up

this is an excerpt from the script of one of my favorite films, "hanging up," which stars meg ryan, diane keaton, lisa kudrow, and walter matthau . . .

omar’s mom:  fault is never the point.  you are a very warm person . . . which makes me think you got this warmth from your father. 

eve:  i don’t know what to do.  what do you think i should do?  what should i do?

omar’s mom:  would you press "end"?  i could never seem to find the "end" . . . you know, sometimes, it is necessary to disconnect.

i loved that part . . . it’s one of my favorite scenes in the film . . . and to tell you honestly, that scene has helped me a lot lately.

sometimes you reach a point when you’re so hung up.  you have lots of stuff ruling over your life.  many people wanting to rule your life forgetting they have their own lives to rule.

i thought i was happy for the longest time . . . until the start of the year when i felt i was slowly losing the things important to me.  my birthday was one of those days and i had a good friend drop by to comfort me then. 

you know, i thought i was living the kind of life i have dreamt of when i was young . . . fast-paced . . . always rushing things . . . getting harassed every once in a while while you’re enjoying your liesure time.

having made that rule my life for the past years, i never noticed, until recently, that the other things important to me are slowly slipping away . . . better yet . . . i forgot to nurture those things.

i had lots of stuff slipping away for the past couple of months . . . and never realized right away the possible cause as to why such has been happening.  i had blamed god for being unfair . . . it was just now when i realized there’s no one else to blame . . . but me.

during my birthday, as my friend was comforting me due to that bad day i had . . . i remember telling her of an idea i’ve realized.  i figured perhaps i’ve focused much on one aspect of my life that i wasn’t aware of the other things to be slipping away.  maybe, we really are in this world where everything must be finite . . . you get some, you lose some.

in such a desperate thought at that time, i told my friend what if i give up something in this aspect of my life i’ve been giving much focus on . . . with the hope of saving the other things important to me . . . lost friendship . . . lost relationship to other people . . . things like that.  but maybe i wasn’t that much of a risk-taker that time . . . i was afraid . . . afraid to take the chance . . . i thought of the possibility of giving up something from one side but then, my planned goal won’t be achieved.  i’d be devastated should that happen . . . i’ll have nothing left for myself.

and so, for the next couple of weeks . . . having been confused all the more, i just gave everything to god . . . let him fix my life . . .

perhaps he heard my prayer . . . or maybe, he has long heard my prayer . . . it was me who wasn’t listening, though.  i’ve reached the worst thing that could possibly happen . . . the only thing valuable for me . . . slowly falling apart.

there’s nothing else to do but to take action.  acceptance . . . i’ve accepted it . . . and moved on . . . i’ve decided to completely hung up . . . to disconnect myself from this something i’ve long been holding on . . . and to tell you honestly, slowly, things were going right again.  i’ve again been restoring some failed friendships and i’m glad to have saved them, really

my life is much better right now than what was last month and the previous months.  i’ll be starting again with regard to one aspect in my life and i’m looking forward in a way . . . yet scared, still.  it will be something new for me . . . but it was what i’ve always wanted to do before . . . just pray i’ll make it well in this journey, please. 

i’m now moving towards the path i’ve set for myself.  i’ve again taken another step forward.  i’m happy and i pray that i will be for the rest of my life . . .

i’m glad to finally have decided to disconnect myself . . . and you know . . . sometimes i’m wondering . . . had i done this even earlier . . . perhaps life would have been much better . . . but then again, maybe i had to learn some things still . . . some things which will make me a stronger and better person.  i have accepted myself to still be young . . . and there are many things i have yet to learn in life.  and now, i’ve learned a new lesson. 

you know . . . sometimes, it’s really not bad to disconnect . . .

–GI 30682

binatukan ako ng d’yos . . .

ok . . . here comes the first of my installment blog entries . . .

well, yes . . . for the longest time i had dark thoughts and i didn’t know if i’d be able to get out of it . . . back then, i hoped i would . . . and thankfully, i did

i was a person with great dreams . . . had high goals i’ve set back then . . . goals i’ve been focusing on for the longest time . . . stuff i’d been hungry for all my life . . . until well . . . i entered my "dark stage" haha . . .

perhaps in the past couple of years, i got satisfied . . . satisfied with what i have . . . well, it’s not bad, right?  god never taught us to be greedy . . . but no . . . because i got satisfied . . . and i no longer dreamed . . .

routine . . . i was satisfied with my daily routine . . . i have set aside my talent, my capabilities, my strengths . . . what i can do further . . .

for the past months, i’ve felt my life crumbling down.  i’ve been seeing things the negative way . . . i began questioning my space in god’s kingdom . . . am i still part of his flock?

he gave me an answer, really . . . binatukan n’ya ako.  it was hard enough, i guess, that it brought me back to my senses.  i began realizing i have just been entertaining the bad vibes lately . . . that it’s again time for me to look at the bright side of life

with that . . . i took action right away.  i began being aware of moving on for my personal growth.  i again started to dream . . . of better things i can still do . . . of things i can still contribute to the society . . . for crying out loud, i am a graduate of up . . . perhaps the country wants to see more of what i can do . . . of what i still am capable of doing . . . of how i can still contribute for the betterment of our country . . .

yes, when i was younger . . . i have dreamt of creating a name for myself . . . and now, i’m back on track towards fulfilling that.

i now, again, have been looking at the bright side of things . . . and really, things have gone way better in my life . . . those things i thought i have lost before . . . i’m getting it back now . . .

i’m happy . . . and thankful . . . for the blessings.  good thing god knew what to do to bring me back to my senses . . .

–GI 30682

nba finals 2007

notice how i’ve been procrastinating with regard to posting my "promised" blog entries about my recent awakening?  haha

nope . . . i don’t really consider it as procrastinating.  it’s just that other thoughts and ideas enter my mind which i also would want to talk about that . . . well . . . i decided to delay my said blog entries.  you know, sometimes you need to decide which entries are relevant for the moment and which can be delayed . . .

hey! don’t get me wrong here.  i’m not saying "my awakening" is not relevant . . . because it definitely is . . . it’s just that i’d rather talk about subjects while it’s still relevant for the moment . . .

so, what am i saying?  i want to create an entry about the finals at nba this year.  nope, i’m not really a huge fan of basketball.  well, yes . . . i watch it sometimes, when i can’t find other decent shows . . . hehe . . . but to tell you honestly, many new great players have sprouted that i no longer know who are the latest nba greats.

oh well . . . gone are the days of michael jordan and scottie pippen tandem . . . gone are the days when i’d love for reggie miller to win an nba championship for the indiana pacers . . . gone are the days when toni kukoc and peja stojakovich are the cutest nba players for me . . . for pba?  wala pa ring tatalo kay john arigo . . . the cutest pba player for me

i remember back in college . . . whenever our block would see each other outside the doors of our department as we prepare for our first semester enrolment . . . the boys of our block would often ask us girls of which nba team we would want to win in the finals.  that time, la lakers was at its peak . . . and i’d often answer my blockmates "kung sino ‘yung kalaban ng lakers" . . . haha

i hated the lakers . . . i don’t like kobe bryant . . . he reminded me then (well, until now) of my ex . . . haha . . . bitter ako?  haha

so anyway, this year it’s between cleveland cavaliers and the san antonio spurs.  i’d love for the spurs to win.  hey, i’m not making a prediction here, ok?  i’m not claiming to be good at predicting stuff in basketball . . .

it’s nice for cleveland to be at the finals . . . after having known that it’s their first trip to the finals ever in their franchise history.  lebron james is a good player . . . young, very athletic, and shows a lot of promise . . . isa pa, hindi siya mayabang tulad ni kobe bryant . . . haha.  it would be great for them to win but i don’t know . . . this time, i’d rather be rooting for experience . . . having said so, i prefer the spurs.  i think the spurs has a great combination of players . . . experience, talent, leadership . . . they’re definitely at their peak.

i would prefer this to be an experience for the cavaliers . . . who knows, they can learn from this year and eventually win it for next year . . . now, that’s what i want to happen . . . ain’t a bad idea, right?

–GI 30682

before it gets too late

you know, i seldom watch pinoy big brother and pinoy dream academy.  well yes, i’m a known kapamilya . . . it’s just that my being a kapamilya is also being shared by my interest for other cable channels

now, i remember having watched an episode in pinoy dream academy.  it was an episode where kris abrenica and michelle bond got nominated, yet again, for expulsion.  it has been their nth nomination and the camera could really show the disappointment in the two scholars and how their morales have gone down. 

i guess it showed alarm to the people behind the show . . . or maybe just to one intellectual being . . . direk jose javier reyes . . . one of the faculty people.  i remember him talking to the scholars and in a way, encouraging them not to give up on their talent . . . to still continue believing in themselves . . . to still work towards the fulfillment of their dreams . . . if that’s their interest, then go for it.

it seemed the two were already convinced to give up . . . satisfying themselves that they’re losers . . . big losers.  but direk joey wasn’t ready to raise the white flag . . . he huddled up the two and gave them a story . . .

his story was about his younger days and how he’d always loved to draw.  now, there was an incident which i forgot which led him to eventually give up on drawing . . . thinking he was not good at it.  now he’s grown up, and to his disappointment . . . although he’d again love to draw . . . he just can’t . . . he could no longer do it . . .

he didn’t want the same thing to happen to the two scholars . . . for them to give up on one of their passions . . . for who knows in the end, when they’d want to do it again . . . but could no longer do so.

direk joey has a point . . . and i see that . . .

for the longest time i’ve been distracted . . . eventually to the point of shelving one of my greatest passions . . . writing . . . writing stories . . . writing my thoughts for people to read and learn on . . .

and like what i’ve been telling in my recent blogs . . . i’m shrugging off the bad vibes . . . working towards a positive outlook again . . . kalimutan na ang mga masamang alaala, ‘di ba?

and if you’ve noticed i’m doing my best to write blogs as frequently as i can . . . it’s due to the fact that i don’t want to lose my passion for writing . . . i don’t want it to happen . . . the point where i would want to write but could no longer do so . . .

maybe it’s not yet too late . . . i’m writing again, right?  well, to admit i’m a bit rusty in gathering my thoughts but a few practices could do the trick, right?

and yes . . . i’ll be having more interesting blogs in the days to come

–GI 30682

the famous number

you know for the past weeks, due to the election thingy i got involved with . . . i’ve been having lots of conversations and light chats with lawyers . . . competent ones, to add further. 

so, most of them are products of up law and having been a product of up as well, i could basically "mix" with regard to the topic of up life.  well, anyway, they love having conversations with me as they try to ask how up has changed from their time to mine.  for crying out loud, some of them went to college at the time i wasn’t even born yet . . . haha

funny as they would get surprised as i answer that i was still in college when the oakwood mutiny occurred . . . when most of them are already in government office.  or how about the comparison of the miscellaneous fees from their time to mine?  from 99 pesos to 615 pesos . . . or basically, how the form5 and class cards have evolved . . . and of course, the crs . . . which, during our time was on its way to perfection . . .

of course we’ve all had our own as building anecdotes as well as freshie days experiences and it was quite funny as we all recall on that . . . which among their batchmates also made it big . . . which have made a statement and which have made a difference with regard to their contributions to our country.

well we all agree about the impact of having been up graduates . . . the privilege and all that and how people respect the fact that you’re a product of that university . . . and of course, we’re proud of it

among one of our discussions in the previous weeks was our student numbers.  it never entered my mind until that moment . . . true . . . we all still know our student numbers by heart.  our other numbers like id, tin, sss, gsis policy . . . we don’t know by heart but although it’s been years since we’ve "used" our student numbers, we still know them.  come to think of it, some lawyers even had their student numbers with "76" as the first two digits . . . of course, i won’t tell whose student number that was . . . haha

99-***** . . . that’s my student number.  (forgive me for not entering the last 5 digits . . . it might be used against me e . . . mahirap na.  i know how the world works . . .) with regard to my tin or my driver’s license, i haven’t memorized it.  well, ok . . . i know by heart one of my bank account numbers but it’s basically due to the fact that it’s an anagram of my student number . . . haha

i’ve asked a couple of my batchmates if they still know their student numbers and all of them did.  it’s the heart of our being products of up, i guess . . . ‘di ka totoong scholar ng bayan if you’ve forgotten your student number?  haha

yes . . . i have yet to find a graduate of up who has already forgotten his or her student number . . .

–GI 30682

pasukan na nga pala . . .

ok . . . i did an errand earlier and also met up with a person i respect and had a great conversation, actually . . . it turned out to be a great day . . .

so anyway, my meeting was at the powerplant mall and it was already rush hour when i left makati.  was quite worried as i was to leave rockwell as i tried to imagine the traffic i’d be experiencing along edsa . . .

but no!

walang traffic!

ok . . . during the summer season, i was complaining about the traffic i’m experiencing along edsa and was trying to argue that there are no classes so why does traffic exist? 

well, perhaps i had the wrong idea.  maybe it’s the other way around . . . now that classes have started, less people go on "gimiks" thus, makati area is decongested . . . walang traffic sa edsa, yehey!

but then again, why would i care anyway?  it wouldn’t be much of a big deal to me in the coming days, ‘di ba?

can’t understand what i mean?

well, i’ll explain it . . . soon . . .

basta . . . masaya na ako ulit

–GI 30682

pwede na rin . . .

ok . . . i’m stalling again with regard to my blog updates . . . but don’t worry, i’m sure i’ll be able to catch up in my writings in the next few days . . . i’m turning into a new leaf, you know

so . . . i know it’s a week late to comment on this but . . . gusto ko e . . . walang pakialamanan . . . blog ko ‘to e! haha

yes, i’m disappointed that melinda didn’t make it to the final 2 but come to think of it . . . regardless of the crown, i’m sure she’ll be able to land a contract for an album . . . she’ll still make it big anyway. 

consider the previous seasons of american idol.  clay hadn’t won but he made it big.  in fact, i think he was more successful than ruben studdard.  in last season’s . . . chris daughtry . . . even eliot yamin and katherine macphee has surpassed the winner, taylor hicks. 

with regard to the final two, i’m glad it’s jordin who won rather than blake.  all of you had been aware anyway that i don’t like blake.  honestly, i wasn’t that impressed with the showdown but to admit, jordin really made a statement as she sang the winning song, "this is my now".  i’m sure everyone had witnessed how she poured her emotions into the song.  another thing, the song doesn’t match blake’s style . . . thus, the edge for jordin . . . it just fits her.  it’s like something really made for her . . . destined to be hers.

jordin has that charisma . . . and that’s what drew her close to people.  i’m sure she’ll make it big.  she’s still young . . . and she can go a long way . . .

good luck to her . . . although as early as now, i can’t guarantee if i’d buy her album . . . i’ll be making sure i have a copy of her song, "this is my now" hehe . . .

–GI 30682