when you feel that you’re falling apart
my brother and i were in the mood for downloading songs for the past few weeks. i was checking his music folder and i came across this song. it hit me dead-center . . .
Blame It on the Rain (by: Milli Vanilli)
You said you didn’t need her, you told her good-bye (good-bye)
You sacrificed a good love, to satisfy your pride
Now you wished, that you should have her (have her)
And you feel like such a fool, you let her walk away in the rain
Now it just don’t feel the same, gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the rain that was fallin’ fallin’, blame it on the stars that did shine at night
Whatever you do don’t put the blame on you, blame it on the rain yeah yeah
You can blame it on the rain
Should’ve told her you were sorry (sorry) could have said you were wrong
But no you couldn’t do that, you had to prove you were strong ooh
If you hadn’t been so blinded (blinded), she might still be there with you
You want her back again, but she just don’t feel the same
Gotta blame it on something, gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the rain that was fallin’ fallin, blame it on the stars that did shine at night
Whatever you do don’t put the blame on you, blame it on the rain yeah yeah
You can blame it on the rain, cos the rain don’t mind
And the rain don’t care, you got to blame it on something
Blame it on the rain, that was fallin’ fallin’, blame it on the rain yeah, yeah
You can blame it on the rain
(Blame it on the rain yeah, yeah) x 3, you can blame it on the rain, blame it on the rain
Blame it on the rain baby, (blame it on the rain yeah yeah)
Blame it on the stars that did shine at night, (blame it on the rain yeah yeah)
Blame it, blame it on the rain, woo
I’m walking, I’m walking
Walking in the rain, walking in the rain
(Rain, rain), (stars, stars)
Whatever you do don’t put the blame on you, (blame it on the rain)
Yeah yeah, (blame it on the rain)
That keeps fallin’ fallin’, (blame it on the stars)
That did shine at night, whatever you do don’t put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah, blame it on the rain (rain, rain)
yeah . . . that song definitely fits me now . . .
i’ve been struggling for the past few weeks . . . really . . . trying to satisfy myself into thinking i made the right decision in life. but it’s hard . . . hard to tell yourself that you made the right decision when deep inside you know you’re hurting.
and as that song says . . . i don’t wanna blame myself . . . i’d rather blame it on something . . . circumstances, maybe? wrong timing? perhaps that piece of puzzle fits you . . . but we must always remember, it’s not the only piece to produce the wonderful picture.
most people to whom i’ve talked to may not be totally agreeing with the decision i’ve made . . . why i didn’t even entertain the possibility . . . why not give it a chance? you know, it’s hard to wait and see. sometimes, we know what we want in life, but sometimes we just have to back off and let go. it may not be easy moving on . . . but i’m gripping . . . it may not be easy . . . but i’m trying . . .
i tried getting in touch with friends from way back. funny that they got so surprised that i’ve been doing my best to catch up on each other’s lives. yesterday, i’ve been reflecting on that reaction of theirs . . . have i really been distant? and i came up with an answer . . . yes . . . i am . . .
you know, it’s hard . . . because sometimes, as you’re trying to bring back the communication with the others . . . it seems you’re no longer the person they used to know.
with that difficulty, i’ve realized i may have changed. well, that’s one fact of life . . . people change . . . it’s the only thing that is constant in this world . . . the this world is full of changes. but it’s a different feeling for me . . . why all of a sudden, i’m not this person who has a way with people . . . able to win their hearts easily. why all of a sudden it seems doubts arise whether i’m truthful or not?
i know it’s never too late . . . had there been lost friendships somewhere in the past . . . i know there’s still something i can do to bring back the good relationship i once had with them.
i’m not the crying kind of person . . . but for the past few weeks . . . that’s the only thing i do . . . i was at my worst yesterday, when i really felt that my whole world seems crashing down. when i realized i didn’t know where to start to be able to stand up again.
i wish i could turn back time . . . turn back and try to change some things in the past . . .
i wish i never gave my all to my career . . . it’s been a little over a year since i started working, but i do feel burned out . . .
i wish i did my best to stay in touch with the people dear to my heart . . . to be able to still take note of the most important events of their lives . . .
i wish i’m still the person whom people run to whenever they are in need (in whatever aspect) yet still without me having to fear of the point that perhaps sometime, i’ll be the one needing their comfort . . .
i wish i could let go of being rational as always . . . and for once obey what the heart is telling me to do . . .
i wish i could stop wrapping my soft, sensitive heart into a tough one . . . because deep inside i’m really weak . . .
i wish i could turn back time and go back to march 20, 2004; 5:00 p. m. i’d go the other direction i took back then . . .
i wish i’d be able to settle all issues i may have with the other people i used to be close with. i wish i could bring back the closeness and the trust we enjoyed before . . .
finally,
i wish god will guide me in making the proper requests/favors i should ask for to him . . . so that they will have a great possibility of being granted . . . that way, i’d still feel secure because i know he still accepts me to be part of his flock . . .
–GI 30682
thoughts | Comments (2)philippine idol: pilot episode
aaacccckkkk! august na!! first blog of the month . . .
oh well . . . as i’ve said in one of my previous blog updates . . . i was definitely curious as to how the philippine idol will be welcomed by the viewers.
good thing i saw an ad announcing the start of the said show. had i not seen that, i wouldn’t have known that it was to start this august.
as a pilot episode, i was happy. i enjoyed watching it. it still carried the "american idol touch". the style . . . the reactions . . . the unexpected funny moments during the interviews, the great singers . . . the judges’ different opinions. it was nice. i wasn’t disappointed.
some observations though . . .
i’m still uncomfortable with the set of judges . . . ok fine, perhaps i just miss the randy jackson, paula abdul, simon cowell combination. the trio, composed of francis magalona, pilita corales and ryan cayabyab, are . . . well . . . a good team yet i guess, i’m just not used to them . . . it seems somthing is lacking. they seem too formal . . . too stiff.
what surprised me the most is ryan cayabyab. i don’t know, but i was expecting him to be the kindest among the three . . . the mentor . . . the one who’d give many the chance as he teaches them how to sing properly. but i was wrong . . . he was strict . . . with lines such as: "i don’t think you will last in this competition". haha . . . oh well, he is the maestro. i guess he knows what he is doing. and definitely he knows which ones should be given the chance or which ones have the "star quality" or are worthy of the "idol" label attached to their names.
some memorable contestants for me.
1. jeffrey santos. who would not laugh at this contestant. he made this very funny entrance using his trumpet which scared pilita. and wow . . . talk about the voice . . . haha. funny that he made it to the next round as pilita and francis gave him the chance saying that’s what the show needed . . . some flavor. haha . . . who would not forget the expression on ryan cayabyab’s face. the disgust as to how they allowed jeffrey go to the next stage. and another comment from ryan: "’di siya marunong kumanta". haha
2. the grandson of dolphy. he was cute. hehe. i don’t know but i was scared while watching his audition. i guess i was just praying that he would not humiliate his grandfather. good thing he really can carry a tune . . . 
3. those two girls with the green outfits. the one, who’s a bar singer . . . nice voice. and the other one who sang anime songs. nice voice as well! that was the first time i appreciated the voltes v theme song! haha. i’m gonna look forward to these 2 females in the second round.
4. the girl who sang a "slow" version of the spaghetti song. the time she was singing the first line of the "spaghetti song," i was laughing so hard. in my mind, "why would one want to use such song as an audition piece?" but then i was wrong, she added a different flavor to the song. she did her own style. i admire her for taking the risk using the song. it was great. i like her voice, it was whole . . . very much like that of a diva.
i enjoyed the pilot episode . . . and because that . . . expect me to watch next sunday’s episode . . .
–GI 30682
Television | Comment (1)