the end of an era . . . and the challenge to filipinos

for the past couple of weeks, filipinos were one in prayer - the healing of our former leader, liberator, and guiding light . . . former president maria corazon cojuanco-aquino.  streets have been covered with yellow ribbons and the media was giving frequent updates on the health of the former leader - the woman pinoys fondly call “tita cory”.

and then last saturday, the unavoidable happened and caught filipinos by surprise as they wake up early morning - tita cory has passed away . . . colon cancer has won.

as much as i know that it’s going to be part of the headlines for the coming days, never had i imagined its intensity to be so - a full coverage from the wake until the funeral, the whole nation (perhaps we can say the entire world) was grieving, and thousands immediately trooped to greenhills, the edsa shrine, the manila cathedral, even the aquino residence to pay their last respects to the woman the country loved dearly.  there was nothing much to see the past few days . . . only yellow ribbons, grief-stricken faces of filipinos as if their mother had died . . . well, come to think of it . . . the mother of the “free” philippines is gone . . .

while watching the media coverage of president aquino’s death, i came to wonder what really is it in her that made filipinos so fond of her . . . who was corazon aquino for them?

wanting an immediate answer for myself, i easily told myself that she is the woman, the widow of the assassinated senator ninoy aquino, who freed the country from dictatorship by leading a peaceful revolution at edsa and eventually becoming the president as she spearheads the healing of our land.  after coming up with that answer, i again challenged myself, ”teka lang, e para sa akin ba, sino si cory aquino?  what has she done in my life and what is her impact in my life?  why am i sad that she’s gone and what will be missing in my life now that she had died?”  with that, i started to look back . . . what were my early memories of cory aquino . . .

i suddenly realized myself going back to my early childhood memories, as much as i was already alive during ninoy’s assassination and even the edsa revolution, i guess i was too young to understand all of them . . . i honestly do not remember those events.  i saw myself as a school kid, studying philippine history, going back from lapu-lapu until the presidents of the philippines.

president aquino was the president when i was in grade school.  honestly, she was just freshly installed as the president and as a child, i never cared about current events . . . i wanted cartoons, i want to play . . . i don’t like news, it’s for old people.  i know nothing about cory’s presidency, her achievements, her projects, etc.  back then, i could only answer about the lives of the presidents before her until marcos - ‘yun ang mga nasa textbook e . . . kaya ‘yun ang alam ko.

but then wait! i remembered something . . . memories with my family started about a certain term . . . “balimbing”.  i learned about that term when i was young - a term which meant a person who favors both sides, favoring one side at one point then the other, in the next.

i guess that is the reason why when i was growing up, i thought people need to take a side . . . either you’re a “red,” meaning marcos or you’re a “yellow,” meaning cory.  if you are for both, then you are “balimbing”.  i remembered being confused when i was young, my father is a military man serving the navy after graduating from the philippine military academy, and he served 3 administrations - marcos, aquino, ramos.  back then, i thought we were “balimbing” . . . we have friends who were close aides of former president marcos so i thought we have to be “marcos” . . . but my dad is serving the government . . . that would also have to mean that we are for cory . . . so ano ba talaga kami?  marcos ba kami o cory?  malaking problema ko ‘yun nung bata ako . . .
with the stories of our family friends, even my dad, about marcos . . . it was enough for me to believe that he also cared for the land.  i believe the country improved during his time, but yeah, maybe the privilege of having ultimate power of the land went inside his head through the years.  for cory?  what nice thing can i say about her aside from leading a peaceful revolution and becoming the first female filipino president?  believe me, when i was young, i thought she was worth remembering because she is the first female filipino president . . . ‘yun lang . . . hey don’t get mad . . . i guess it’s just that i was too young to understand back then and even be involved or interested with current events.

back then, i can’t really say that she is a great president . . . mas kaya ko pang sabihin dati na si marcos ang magaling.  i could only remember the coup attempts during cory’s time e . . . as mentioned, dad served the government as a military officer . . . and i basically grew up spending not much time with him.  he was on frequent red alerts because of those coup attempts . . . for me, what will make me proud of cory?  yes, she survived the coup attempts . . . but for me, it meant spending less time with dad.

fast forward . . . i’m already in high school.  estrada time na . . . cory’s term as president was already in textbooks however, high school social studies already meant world history . . . i guess for me, it meant i will never really get to know more about cory . . . ayoko naman mag-research . . . tambak na ako ng school projects . . . hehehe

i guess i got to know who cory aquino was when i reached college.  having studied at up, a sense of nationalism grew inside my heart (i gave up my high school dream of working abroad for the sake of the country, naks!) i admired cory for helping in edsa 2 . . . i kinda was thankful for her, because at least, our generation was given a chance to somehow relive the power and magic of edsa.  from then on, i saw cory as the country’s adviser . . . a guiding light especially in times of political turmoil.

away from the limelight and on a personal level, i developed some sense of admiration for cory aquino.  before, we used to hear mass at the twin hearts at west triangle, cory aquino’s parish.  i consider it a privilege . . . cory aquino attends the same mass schedule with ours.  you know, i think it’s enough a privilege to at least have a glimpse of the famous icon but it was more of a blessing (a feeling that has grown stronger for the past couple of days) because she always sat in the row/pew with our family. 

during those moments, i got to see cory, not as a public figure, but as a normal citizen.  she quietly sits inside the church, silently prays while waiting for the mass to start.  there’s only 1 man seated behind her in decent casual clothes to serve as her escort/bodyguard - and take note, hindi exaggerated magbantay kay cory.  i loved seeing the space that the escort gives to cory - it made everyone inside the church comfortable, less tensed, and more peaceful.  cory had always remained simple, down-to-earth and never had she acted or displayed to the public that she’s a person of higher status than them. 

seeing that side of cory made it easy for me to realize why cory was so loved by people.   i believe cory was loved because she honored her people and kept the promise of serving them always when the filipinos gave her the task to be their leader.  cory was given power by her countrymen and she never abused that power - for me, that’s the best reason why filipinos love her until now . . . hindi naramdaman ng mga pilipino kay cory na ginamit, naisahan or ninakawan sila . . .

you know the testimonials i’ve heard about cory during her wake and funeral made me realize the possibility of being confident yet not boastful.  that is cory, albeit not wanting to become president, her heart was pure that she wanted to serve the country . . . she knew what she can and can not offer to the nation . . . she knew that although she wants a simple and private life, she believed that she is capable of running a nation that’s why she accepted the challenge of leading the nation . . . but she was never proud . . . she never boasted of her achievements . . . come to think of it, ngayon ko lang nalaman that she did well in school . . . almost became a lawyer had she not married ninoy aquino . . . it was just recently that i realized that hey . . . she really can run a country with her colorful resume . . . and all the while i thought she was just a housewife who became president because her husband was assassinated . . . some sort of sympathy thing lang but no . . . she was very capable . . .

cory respected her people . . . i liked hearing the stories about her respecting the opinions of her cabinet . . . never meddling/influencing them to make a certain decision out of favor for someone else . . . cory knew that although she was capable, running a country was something that was not simple.  she surrounded herself with capable cabinet members and made them feel that their opinion matters a lot.  cory listened and weighed all sides of the coin before making the final decision.  i wish our current leaders follow her that way.

cory led the people through example.  she respected the law and showed her people that no one really is above the law . . . not even her.  the stories about cory not wanting her security personnel to sound the sirens when she is on the road was true.  when i was young, there was an instance when we were on the road and suddenly, and silently, a long entourage of black cars and police motorcyles rallied . . . my mom was wondering what it was and my brother, immediately noticed one black mercedes benz with the license plate number “1″ in the middle of the convoy and immediately uttered “si cory ‘yun e!” that’s cory, hindi siya KSP . . . hehehe

another instance which i could never forget was the time when my family had dinner at a hotel before and saw cory and her family (kris was there) entering the hotel.  we arrived about the same time with the aquinos and of course, since cory was a former president, we just felt it proper that she and her companions enter the hotel first.  we consciously tried walking slow para mauna sila and what i saw afterward was one of the best reasons why i truly admire cory.  when she entered she stopped at the entrance where the hotel security personnel were and she willingly submitted herself for the sop security check.  the hotel security did not do so and just motioned for the party to enter while telling cory “ma’am, sige po, pasok na po kayo.” cory didn’t move and instead told the hotel security “hindi, dapat pati ako chini-check n’yo”.  she then opened her bag and motioned for the hotel security to check it.  hands down, president cory! i wish all politicians follow your lead.

now that cory aquino is gone, i believe all of us are groping in the dark.  what now?  our light is gone, can we make it without her?  i know we have all expressed our deepest gratitude to her for the service and guidance she has given us but we must all remember that it doesn’t end there.  beyond those expressions of “thank you’s,” i believe that the best way to show cory that we are really thankful to her is by preserving the legacy she has given.  let us all honor the former president by ensuring that the democracy is well taken care of.

let us follow cory’s example, that the road to true change and development is through us . . . it has to come from us.  let us fight for what we believe is right.  but also, let us all remember that freedom does not mean that we can also disobey the law.  ever since college, i have a famous line “walang karapatan magreklamo tungkol sa batas ang mga taong ‘di rin naman sumusunod doon”.  let us do our share of educating the people who do not know the law . . . ipakita natin sa kanila kung ano ang tama . . . or even for those who know the law but refuse to obey it, don’t mind them . . . ang importante, tayo, marunong sumunod.  you know, i believe na ang pilipino may hiya pa rin naman e . . . so let’s practice “duplication,” kung nakikita ng mga tao (the more the merrier and more effective it is) na tayo ginagawa natin ang tama, for sure mahihiya ang mga ‘yun at susunod din sila.  the more frequent that we practice these, the more it gets instilled within us. 

you know, sometimes i’d like to believe that maybe president cory was taken away from us now because god knows that filipinos already can stand on its own - that’s why it was already time for cory to be rewarded in heaven.  like a parent who never leaves his/her child’s side when the latter is still growing up and is still needing all the support and guidance, cory aided filipinos from 1986 until 2009.  but just like the time when a parent feels that the child has grown, matured, and felt that it can already stand on its own and make the best decisions for himself/herself, the parent takes a back seat to allow the child to continue the journey.  maybe that was it, cory has already done her share of walking side-by-side with us, teaching and guiding us on how to take care of our own freedom and democracy.  maybe now, she knows kaya na natin . . .

to end, i’m sure cory aquino felt our love for her during the past 5 days.  i’m betting that right now, she and ninoy are happily watching the country.  and as ninoy witnessed how cory served the filipino nation for the past 23 years plus our expression of love to his beloved wife, it won’t be hard to imagine that he’ll be falling in love with the same woman . . . the fourth time . . .
farewell, president corazon aquino . . . we’ll miss you and we’ll see you again when our time comes to be reunited with god in heaven . . .

–GI 30682

revelations . . .

if there was one thing i realized last night, it was to speak up and tell your thoughts . . . that sometimes you need not worry or think of the negative feeling you have - if people would think of you negatively for thinking that way but, to at least give yourself the opportunity to share your own opinion, may it be good . . . or bad . . .

for the longest time, the negative vibes i’ve been getting (you know, impressions on people) . . . i did my best to hide them.  i chose not to share those kinds of thoughts to other because i felt naninira or namimintas lang ako . . . i tried satisfying myself “baka insecured lang ako . . .”.  hahaha. 

on one hand, it can be good . . . kasi ‘yun na nga, you feel na ‘di ka naninira.  but then, the feeling can also kill you.  minsan ‘di mo ma-supress ‘yung inis mo and you become irritable and the next thing you know, you’re a still a bad girl . . . hahaha

so going back, last night sort of became a night of revelations for me.  well, at least i had my own share of things to reveal but the thing was, there were things i realized na naramdaman din pala nung iba . . . you know, some negative vibes you tried keeping for the longest time . . . it felt great when you realize that you are not alone in having that kind of negative vibe . . . normal na tao ako! wee!

at that moment last night, i wished ‘di ko pinatagal or i didn’t keep to myself those nega vibes . . . maiintindihan naman pala ako ng mga kasama ko, because they felt the same way.  i thought, had i shared it easily, at least nawala na agad ‘yung mabigat na feeling na ‘yun . . . sayang . . . but then again, at least ‘di ako nagmukhang evil, hahahaha

looking forward to the next reunion . . . sarap ng kwentuhan and of course, the things you again can discover . . .
i’m just glad and happy with the bond we have in our barkada last night
–GI 30682

ang bagong in-demand na career

remember when we were still studying and we all had dreams of eventually working at a major company inside the business districts of metro manila or abroad?

well, i myself used to dream of that and i still continue to dream of working for other good companies . . . syempre ‘di ba?  good company equals good pay and stable job . . .

i know most of us are living our dreams and are already working for great companies however, i’ve been noticing something lately . . . we all seem addicted to a new kind of profession . . .

lahat tayo gusto maging farmer! hahahaha . . . just check facebook out . . . and you see tons of farm games like farmtown, farmville, barn buddy, sunshine ranch . . . hmmmm, pagod na ba tayo sa mabilis na buhay ng corporate world at ito na ang form of relaxation natin?  hehehehe . . .

oh well, that’s all for now . . . i’m going back to my farms at facebook . . .

–GI 30682

maybe god still has a plan

after what i have gone through in my previous job, i believe everyone’s now aware how i swore to start focusing on being my own boss . . . hence, i’m slowly starting to put up my own business . . . and soon, other potential business opportunities.

however, for the past few days, i have tons of friends trying to convince me that it’s still to early to shut my door when it comes to the corporate world - especially this time, when i’m still very much marketable . . .

it did take a long time for me to finally concede to what they’re saying . . . and though i’m still not quite sure if i’m really interested to go back to the corporate world, i just prayed for a sign . . .

i prayed to god that i’ll just make my resume available for viewing, make myself available and if i get calls for interviews, then i’d go . . . wala namang mawawala e . . . and if i get hired, it’s the sign - god still wants me to offer my services to the corporate world . . .

lo and behold, just a day after i made my resume available for viewing, i already received invites for interview . . . so, ayun na nga siguro talaga . . . may plano pa ang diyos sa akin sa corporate world . . .

well, let’s see what will happen in the days to come . . . marami pa namang pwedeng mangyari e . . . i’m still in the process of attending interviews . . .

if ever, hope to get the best deal . . . wee!

–GI 30682

a flattering discovery . . .

well i know people have been very much aware that my recent job led me to become too busy with work such that i no longer got in touch, or had the opportunity or luxury of time to get in touch with my friends, and other people i know . . . before, the moments i had not working became my only time for rest . . . that much needed sleep that i never even got to enjoy . . .

so recently, i had the chance to keep in touch with my “people of the past” and i had this nice feeling when i realized 2 things . . .

1. i never thought i knew that much (sobrang dami ko na palang kilalang tao in my 27 years here on earth), and

2. i never thought i have made that much of an impact to these people . . .

i guess it’s definitely flattering for a person who recently started to ask herself . . . “am i a good person?”, “what is my purpose in life?”, “what do i want in life?”, “how do i want to live my life, if i had the choice?”, and, “how do i want to be remembered when time comes that i have to leave earth?”

honestly, i never thought i was able to touch people’s lives . . . i never thought that i was able to defend them during times they felt no one was there to back them up . . .

my god, i never thought i was that dependable and credible . . . i never thought people saw me as a person who also wanted what’s best for her people . . . i realized that they saw me as an ally . . . a friend who would be there to smile, to listen, even if we have different backgrounds, or as what they always tell me . . . “status in life” . . . ang sarap ng feeling . . . sobra . . .

i remembered when i was a kid . . . i wanted to be remembered as a person who helped people . . . when i was in college, i wanted to be remembered as a person who was able to touch people’s lives . . . when i was at abs-cbn, i told my boss i wanted to be remembered as a person who inspired people . . . through the years i uttered different statements but looking closely at each of them, the dream never changed, it was just becoming more concrete . . . i had always been others-oriented and i have always wanted to offer and share my life to them . . .

and so, the dream has become clearer right now . . . i want to help people, to touch their lives, and be the instrument for them to improve their lives as well . . . i want to be the instrument for their success . . .

i wish i’d be able to fulfill that . . . i pray i’d be able to be successful in doing so . . . please help me pray for it . . . ibang klaseng fulfillment siguro ‘yun . . .

–GI 30682

coward daredevils

i know i’ve done a lot of blogs about my hatred for motorcycle drivers (sorry friends who love motorcycles), but as a person who loves to drive cars, they cause traffic for me.

as i’ve always been sharing, i just hate how they bravely weave through the streets of metro manila not realizing that they are actually cutting the lanes of cars and other vehicles . . . nakakapikon lang kasi ‘pag sila ang naaksidente, often kasalanan pa ng driver ng sasakyan . . .

and, as much as they look like daredevils on the road . . . don’t you just hate it when it rains . . . they suddenly flock under overpasses para sumilong . . . ang tapang makipag-racing sa mga sasakyan pero takot sa ulan! grrr . . .

basta, naniniwala ako that they cause traffic a lot . . .

‘yun lang . . .

–GI 30682

old photos . . .

i find it amusing to see old photos back when we were in grade school, high school, and college.  it can really be hilarious at some point to see how much you’ve grown, how one has matured through the years . . . in a way, it was fun to look back on how it was before. 

then i remembered i loved bringing my camera during special school events.  i realized i should have tons of old photos to share. 

and so, i started to look through my old junk and piles of school stuff to find my set of photos.  i found them so now, i just need to find a good set of scanner so i can upload those photos.  hehehehe =p

kaya lang, i was also saddened . . . mahilig ako kumuha ng picture pero shy pa ako noon! so wala ako masyadong picture at puro ako ang “the girl behind the camera”! whapak!

asar moment ‘yun, when i figured it out . . . oh well, pwede na rin.  mataba pa ako noon e.  hahahahaha

in time, i’ll post those old pictures . . .
–GI 30682

maraming nagmamahal sa iyo . . .

had a meeting a while ago and we’ve discussed about the things that happened in my life for the past month . . .

it’s weird, after talking about it, i said i feel better than last month.  moreover, i shared my future plans and how i’m looking forward - hopeful that things will get better soon.

surprising i guess, was the fact that while i was sharing all these, i had been saying different names - people who’ve gotten in touch, maintained friendship . . . people who made sure that things turn out well and their assurances that they are always there for me . . .

then this person told me . . . “ang daming nagmamahal sa iyo, ‘no?”

i thought for a while . . . “oo nga, ano?” . . . these are the real friends one can ever have.  i never really thought about that . . . but once you realize, the feeling is nice . . .

so right now i’m just thinking, what have i done right that’s why people cared that much?  sometimes the reasons are not important but sometimes a person can really get curious of it . . . as for me, maybe i just wanted to know para alam ko na ‘yun ang dapat kong ipagpatuloy na gawin . . .

i’m thankful for people like them . . . sana maging ganoon din ako sa kanila . . .

but ok, fine . . . forgive me for this one . . . as much as alam kong maraming nagmamahal sa akin sa paligid ko . . . yeah, i still wish i could have nanay mai to still be in that special group of people i have . . . i miss her and i hope everything’s well with her . . .

–GI 30682

things i miss and don’t miss about abs-cbn . . .

it’s been more than a week now since my resignation from abs-cbn . . . just came back from my ilo-ilo vacation and honestly, i’m still enjoying it . . . i guess i badly needed this . . . a moment to relax and recharge before i start sailing again to my new journey . . .

so anyway, since i have a lot of time to spend right now . . . i figured the things i will miss and won’t miss in my dream company . . .

let’s start with the things i’m going to miss . . .

1. pagbigyan n’yo na ako dito . . . but i’m really gonna miss my nanay mai . . .
2. rba people who became close to me . . . you know, the people i really trusted . . . you guys know who you are *wink*
3. tv?  pero sana i could switch to the cable channels . . .
4. the kind receptionists . . .
5. the christmas party! lagi kasi akong nananalo ng isa sa mga major prizes . . . talk about my ipod and the wow magic sing na pinagpalit ko sa P5,000.  hahaha
6. conversations with vyt
7. fgds . . . just the fgds . . . nothing after . . .
8. the subcons baby n’yo akong lahat e

now, for the things i won’t miss . . .

1. the job . . . hahaha, sorry . . .
2. some people?  hahaha, bitter pa rin . . .
3. traffic at quezon avenue
4. long work hours
5. no internet
6. the food . . .
7. *censored* clue:  balikabayan, shoe, etc . . .

nonetheless, it was a great experience.  i was finally able to live my dream . . . but like what i’ve told them . . . maybe, it’s time to move on and find greater heights . . .

i’ll miss you rba peeps . . . and you’ll forever remain in my heart . . .
–GI 30682

late comment on the latest american idol

since i’ve been busy most of the time, i wasn’t able to comment on the american idol finale . . . that is, when the news was still fresh and relevant . . .

well, since i have a lot of time now after i’ve tendered my resignation, might as well give my thoughts on the newest american idol, kris allen . . .

first of all, i think he’s cute . . . he can sing but i don’t think he’s been consistent in the contest.  he’s got his own good nights and also had a couple of bad ones.

i think, adam has been more consistent . . . and i’ve been a fan of adam (also initially rooted for him) but i think, during the final week, i felt the need to swing my vote (as if, makakaboto ako, hahaha).

why?

well, i realized america seems not yet ready for an artist like adam . . . i find him creative, but i still am not sure of his sexuality.  he never confirmed it actually but i think it also became an issue.  is american idol ready for adam?  i think during the latter weeks, i got tired of him.  sure, he is interesting but . . . i realized he loves to shriek . . . too gay . . . *peace*

as for kris, he is a safer bet . . . glad he won but he’s just another pretty boy.  i don’t think he can be as remarkable as the successful american idols like kelly clarkson, carrie underwood, and david cook . . . give him just one album . . . then he’s like another ruben studdard, and taylor hicks . . . a has been.  i don’t know, i guess i have still yet to find what makes kris truly distinct from the others . . .

well, let’s see . . . maybe i’ll be surprised when his album comes out . . .

–GI 30682